A Friend of God's Chosing

Her name is Kelsey. She was born in North Dakota and is a part of a Native-American tribe. I think she is in her mid-twenties, or I should say, that is my guess. Now you may be wondering what our ties are to this girl. Well, in Houston, we knew a priest, Fr. Fineo, who got relocated to Kelsey's church in North Dakota. That’s it. That is our only tie to this girl.

Kelsey struggled spiritually and mentally. She was sent to New Jersey for mental therapy where they said they couldn't help her, so she was sent to Florida. In Florida, she didn't get the help she needed and instead got caught up in some 'work' and took a bus to Houston. When she was found in the streets of Houston using a hose to "cleanse the streets of sin," she was sent to a psychiatric hospital. She was scared, alone, and had no way of getting home because of her fear of flying.

Now, Fr. Fineo gave my mom a call when he found out that Kelsey was at a psychiatric hospital in Houston, asking mom to go visit her because she was scared. She got this phone call at the beginning of the summer while we were preparing ourselves to head to Michigan to visit our grandparents. Of course, my mother went and pushed back our trip a couple days. She is a mother to all. So she went and chatted all day with Kelsey. When mom came home, she told us all about Kelsey. How she is such very vulgar and a little lost, but such a bundle of joy who brought so much laughter to the whole hospital. Mom saw that Kelsey had no belongings, not even clothes. Mom asked Kelsey what she needed from the store and was only sent to get "bras, big enough for these girls." Mom went to the store, and got her two outfits that were cute, bright, and colorful, to match Kelsey's spunky personality and, of course, massive bras. This girl sounded like an absolute hoot, and I wanted to meet her.

Mom visited her again the next two days. She would come home and tell me about Kelsey's life and retell her crazy stories (excluding all the cuss words). One day, mom came home, and said that Kelsey was so distraught and just wanted to be home with her own mommy. I could tell that this statement was actually a question. She was warming me up. Then, she asked me. "Claire, what do you think about dropping off Kelsey in North Dakota on our way to Michigan?"

Ha! As if it were on the way. As if it was right around the neighborhood. As if it didn't add 15 hours to our 24 hr drive to Michigan. "What? Really? Ummmmmmmmm." I could see the seriousness and her desire to help. Her eyes were begging me to sympathize with this girl who just wanted a hug from her mommy. Yeah, I probably take for granted my time with mommy. "Okay, yeah sure." I guess I did want to meet her.

In two days we were supposed to be leaving for Michigan, now leaving for North Dakota. Mom released Kelsey from the psychiatric hospital and brought Kelsey to our house on the day of our departure. She was a cute girl, wearing bright clothes that mom had dressed her in. Mom did not do her justice. She is way funnier than what mom gave her credit for.

When we were leaving, she told mom that she needed a couple of things before our trip. Mom dropped off Kelsey and I at Walmart. "Claire, take my card and buy her whatever she wants." We go inside and she instantly goes to the guys clothes. She declares that she needs a new outfit because she was wearing bright blue sweatpants and didn't want to give off the wrong idea. After all, she was in the ‘Blood Gang’ and didn‘t want to associate with the ‘Crip Gang’ by wearing blue.

Note: If you question anything that she says, it is okay to question it. I find myself questioning most of the things she says.

So, she buys a whole new outfit from the men’s section -- red cutoff tank-top, red basketball shorts, and red white and blue rubber water shoes. We walk throughout the store and I think she picked up that whatever she asked to buy, I would say ‘yes’. "Can we buy this unicorn headband for my sister? Her birthday was three months ago." Oh my. Three months ago? Does it even matter anymore? In later conversation, I found out that her sister was fifteen, but I was ordered to buy her anything she wants. "Yeah, sure,” I say. She also wanted lots of chips.

We purchased everything, went to the bathroom and then head North. Let me explain this real quick:

Every summer my family heads to Michigan to see my family. We only stop for gas. No hotels, no restaurants, no attractions. During our gas stops, you go to the bathroom and buy food typically at the Subway connected to the gas station. It has to be an emergency to stop just for a 'pee break'.

So, we head directly North on our 22hr 36min drive. We expect to arrive in 21 hours considering our heavy foot. Only a half hour into our trip and a whole ‘Party Size’ bag of chips later, Kelsey declares that she needs a bathroom. Sister Christian! You went at Walmart! But it was an 'emergency,' so I wasn't going to complain. So we stop and wait a couple minutes. She comes back saying we need to head to the grocery store to pick up feminine products. Oh jeez. So we detour to the grocery store, she goes again to the bathroom and he head on our journey again. We talk…actually, she talks and I just listen. Don't think I am complaining because I actually love to hear about people's lives and their crazy stories. And boy, she had many of those.

Anyways, about an hour into the trip, she needs to go to the bathroom AGAIN! Oh Lord, this is going to be a long trip. So we stop at a truck stop, not even needing to top-off gas. We wait a bit, then she comes out of the bathroom, kinda waddling. "I need to go to the store and get medication, I have a problem." The problem that she had required many visits to the bathroom. AHH. God, give me more patience. I am running low. Have you ever wanted to bang your head against a wall? That was one of those moments. So after we went to the store to get her some medicine and cranberry juice, we continued our journey, stopping about every hour or every two hours if we were lucky.

Mom drove about 7 hours while I slept and then we traded. I drove through the wee hours of the night. Which I prefer night driving. Kelsey stayed awake the whole time, even through my driving session to keep me company. Somehow she doesn't run out of things to talk about. She was telling me all about her past relationships. I just sat, astonished. Every relationship, something ended so badly that left you thinking, 'this cant be real,' but she would say it so 'matter of fact' that you still had to questions if it really was true. We watched the sunrise together as she was trying to convince me that 'peanut butter on hard boiled eggs will change your life.' I wasn't convinced, but respected the effort.

We drove through Kansas, through the fields of premature sun flowers. They weren't in bloom, but somehow were still so beautiful. We drove through Nebraska, full of butterflies. Since I was clipping at a pretty fast pace, the most we saw of the butterflies was the smudge they left on the windshield and grill. Oops. I was just trying to make up time for all of all the bathroom stops.

Mom and I switched driving two more times and I was back to driving in North Dakota. I think I saw Kelsey's eyes closed for an hour the whole trip. And I don't even know if she was sleeping, because when I mentioned something about getting KFC mashed potatoes, Kelsey perked right up, "Yeah, I could use some chicken!"

North Dakota was flat. Kelsey said that it is "so flat, you can watch your dog run away from home for four weeks." Because it was flat, the last stretch seemed to take forever. And we were originally going to try to shave of 1 1/2hrs, but instead added that time with all of the bathroom breaks and grocery store visits. So it took us a whopping 24hrs! But the time went fast considering Kelsey had a lot to say and brought a lot of laughter.

We were only 20 mins away! I could nearly smell the roast that Fr. Fineo was preparing for us for dinner, when Kelsey says, "Wait! Turn in here," and points to the cemetery entrance. Internally, I became a whining 4 year old. I bit my tongue and pulled in. She then told us all about Jim, a past boyfriend. Turns out, he died in a police shootout while doing some illegal work. Ooof. Again, she said it so 'matter of fact' without any emotion and I decided that remaining silent was the best way to respond. She got out of the car, took off a bracelet, and placed it near the headstone. We soon left and she got right back into talking and laughing.

We finally make it to the church where we were meeting Fr. Fineo and Kelsey's family. For a minute, I was sad that the trip came to an end, but was overjoyed to see Kelsey run to hug her mother. It brought tears to my eyes. I couldn't imagine the mother's relief to hold her daughter again. We settled into the rectory where we were staying the night and feasted on a beautiful meal that Fr. Fineo had prepared for our arrival. It seemed like we had known the family our whole life and seemed to have a new special bond with Kelsey. She couldn't stop mentioning how 'we're family' as she put her arm around me.

The next day, leaving was hard. Kelsey didn't have a phone or technology and my only way of contacting her was through letters (to which I have yet to receive a response). She changed my heart. I am so blessed to have met this woman. She got caught up in so many crazy and unfortunate experiences, but had such a big heart. Although I was very bothered by her bathroom breaks and she talked my ear off, I will always cherish that detour for Kelsey. She is someone that I would never chose to be friends with, but God put this woman in my life to befriend, and she did in fact become family.

A few weeks after we dropped off Kelsey, I found a Bugle (odd-shaped chip) in the car and closed my eyes. I pictured her in the front seat with her legs propped up, eating KFC chicken, just laughing. She didn't have a care in the world. She just wanted to make people laugh. I might not ever see her again or get a response letter from her, but I am thankful for those 24 hours!