True Heartbreak

The day that we were leaving was approaching. We didn’t slow down at all. Within the week that we were leaving, we had our normal schedule and on top of that we had 3 Confirmation Retreats, 2 First Holy Communion Masses!!, a Youth Group Olympics, and a Going-Away Party. It was absolutely EPIC. Praise God for the strength to get through all of our ministries. I don’t know how we did it.

The retreats themselves were draining. They were full-day retreats, but it was so fruitful.

Getting to witness the First Holy Communion was such a blessing because we had been working with those kids even before coming to Ireland virtually. It was a pleasure to get to see them receive Jesus for the first time!!

And our Youth Group Olympics was AMAZING. We made teams on Thursday’s youth group that carried over into Friday and had competition games the whole time. Eventually, my team won 🏆 That victory definitely got to my head. But the prize was pieing all of us missionaries, myself included.

And our Going Away Party was a blessing. We invited all of the families, parishioners, and youth to come. I think we had about 60 people come and bring food. We feasted, played games, had a water balloon fight, had a cereal party, and just hung out. It was a great way to say our goodbyes.

I hated to leave the youth. And since we didn’t slow down on ministry, the end felt like a slam in the face. The end of the night brought so many tears. It was the hardest goodbye ever!!

The next day, we cleaned up our home, went to mass and met up with our favorite youth. It was a God Wink because as we ran into mass (we were late because of packing), we went to the youth section. We saw some of the youth, but there were two youth that weren't there that we were expecting. These youth are Jack and Ciara whom we met from Day 1. We have been especially investing in them because they hold such a strong presence in the young community. My heart sank and I was filled with sadness that I wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to, not only my youth, but my friends. We proceed through mass and I got this impulse to look back and up at the choir. I did, and guess who I see? Jack and Ciara. Up in the choir. Wow. God, you are SO good. It wasn’t only a surprise to see them, but to see them up in the cHoiR! So instantly I left the pew, and walked all the way to the back and up the stairs. When I saw them, the biggest smile grew on my face and my eyes teared up. Praise you, God. I was overjoyed to spend my last mass singing songs to our Lord beside them.

When mass ended we had to say goodbye. We prolonged our goodbyes and I gave away my gifts and letters to Jack and Ciara. I especially pulled Ciara aside and spoke some truth and dignity to her. Man, will I miss that girl. It was a tearful goodbye to all of the youth, but especially her. We piled into the car, waved our goodbyes, and left. It was so sorrowful.

Goodbyes have never been hard before. But this one was heartbreak. I love them so much and to leave kills me. Delvin, the town we stayed in, felt like home. We had a community there. We had friends there. We were needed. But we are no longer needed and God has called us to move on to a new chapter.

But I praise God that this goodbye was so hard. It is evidence that I loved. And I loved hard. It is evidence that they mattered to me. It is evidence that I made room for them in my heart. Thank you, God.